Claire and the Stacking Rocks

Parenting Card

Front (The Situation):
Claire was trying to stack the stacking rocks, but it kept falling down. Sometimes Jordan or Kate knocked it down, accidentally or on purpose. Most of the time, it was because the rocks weren’t stable. Every time it fell, Claire got more upset and lashed out at those around her. She started blaming others, shouting, crying, and refused to listen to anyone.

Back (The Insight):
Claire’s growing frustration wasn’t just about the rocks — it was about feeling out of control, embarrassed, and helpless. Lashing out was her way of expressing these big feelings. This was a chance to help her feel seen and supported, rather than corrected or dismissed.

What’s Going On Emotionally

Claire is dealing with disappointment and perceived unfairness, which she doesn't yet have the tools to manage on her own. She may feel like others are “against her,” especially if others are watching or unintentionally interrupting her play. Her outburst is a cry for connection and reassurance, not punishment.

Why It Matters

Moments like these are golden for building emotional intelligence. Instead of trying to stop the behavior quickly, you can validate her feelings and help her label what’s happening internally. This helps her build the skills to handle similar emotions next time.

What You Can Do Instead

Get on her level and calmly say: “It’s really frustrating when it doesn’t work, isn’t it?”
Offer a hug or sit nearby so she doesn’t feel isolated.
Say: “I see you’re upset. Do you want to try again, or take a break?”
Later, when calm: “Sometimes I get mad too when things don’t go the way I want. What helped you feel better just now?”

The Framework

This approach draws from co-regulation and emotional validation. When kids are emotionally overwhelmed, they borrow your calm to find theirs. Rather than rushing to fix or scold, staying present and empathetic teaches them resilience and trust.

Parenting Card

What’s Going On Emotionally

Why It Matters

What You Can Do Instead

The Framework

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